"Day-du"

Hello, All!

First off, have I ever said “thank you”? No? Well then, "thank you"! (Or as my little sister says, "day-du! oh, day-du!"). Thank you for taking time out of your busy life to read this. Hmmm, speaking of thanks, as it is nearing that wonderful, fallish season of family, friends, and FOOD =), let me just say, “Happy Thanksgiving”! We have so much to praise the Lord for! The past couple weeks have been ones of reminiscing for me lately. I was thinking back to last year and where I was…where were you a year ago?

Well, about this time last November, I had just finished finding a recipe for baking a perfect pumpkin pie (lo and behold the one on the Safeway can). Work was about to get crazier as all department stores pull out the décor and turn up the Christmas music for Black Friday and guard themselves against the massive, mad, mayhem of consumerism. The aspens had turned over and the weather was pleasantly cooler in comparison to a smokin’ summer. I was with my family at my parents’ house, probably talking with my grandma, laughing with my aunt, and chasing my sister for stealing my dessert. That was what I remember of last season…

This year, things are a little different: I’m not employed! Hooray! Haha, it’s actually a relief. (Those of you who have been or are in the corporate world will understand the lack of pressure.) Besides living on a tight budget until the spring, I am having to come to terms with a hot November…because this is southern India. There is no “Fall Season”, no Thanksgiving, and hence no snow or pumpkin pie. And for me, there is no family, no friends (excluding you, Rach), and no comfort foods (well, I consider rice MY comfort food, but to the rest of the world it’s just a staple). 

It is strange to be in a country where there the predominant religions are Hinduism and Islam. Very sporadically there is a Catholic influence out of a hand-me-down mentality. So many devote themselves to pray to figures of what they call “life”, or “hope”, or “prosperity”…but there is only emptiness met with a greater void. If they only knew what “life” really was, what “hope” looked like, or what “prosperity” means to the everlasting. But they know not what these blessings are. And worse yet, they know not even the One who is able to bless. So, there is no thanks to be given.

And after an insufferable existence, disappointment, and poverty with tinges of hunger and leprosy, why would they even know how to comprehend a blessing? The injustice of female infanticide continues to grow because on a practical level, girls are expensive: another mouth to feed, a significant dowry payment to have her married, society’s cultural demands, etc.  Beggars are beggars because it is the only life they know of and it was the only life their parents knew. And now there are parts of the world that have been lowered into a class of being a “fourth world” country. 

Living expenses in the state of Tamil Nadu have over the weekend, doubled. Everything from cabbage to bus fares to petrol has all been doubled. It is expensive to live and for those who already struggle to exist, the cost is now even higher. Please pray that this center in Coimbatore as well as the other Impact centers would continue to live in the faith of the love of a risen Lord, One who blesses, One who cares. May the children who were once rag-pickers and beggars, the preachers and students who were once Godless, (and the two American girls who were once orphans) be epicenters for love and thanksgiving like the Tenth Leper (Luke 17).

“Happy Thanksgiving” to you all! I am so thankful for YOU.

-S

::lonely, narrow road::

“When it comes to suffering, it is part of our Christian culture to want to know God’s purpose beforehand. In the history of the Christian church, the tendency has been to avoid being identified with the sufferings of Jesus Christ. People have sought to carry out God’s orders through a shortcut of their own. God’s way is always the way of suffering—the way of the “long road home.”  -O. Chambers

I recently made the personal statement that I want to be the kind of friend that Jesus is. I soon had the quick afterthought of what His friendship with me looks like. “Being with Him” means BEING with Him. Being WITH Him. Being with HIM. Jesus struggled. He suffered. And He was lonely. But most importantly, He trusted His Father with the consequences of His obedience, even to the point of being misunderstood, resented, and eventually crucified. 

Peter writes, “Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal among you, which comes upon you for your testing, as though some strange thing were happening to you; but to the degree that you share the sufferings of Christ, keep on rejoicing; so that also at the revelation of His glory, you may rejoice with exultation” (1 Peter 4:12-13 with italics added). 

The Greek word Peter uses here in this passage is “pathema”, pain or hardship undergone, affliction. It is a derivative of the word “pathos”, meaning passion. In essence, Peter is saying, “share the passions of Christ”. Peter did not say to merely share the same interests, but share the same heart, the same brokenness, the same desperation and need for the Father, the same self-sacrifice.

To be with Christ, to identify our very selves with Him is to share His passions; it is to be a part of Himself, to share in His likeness, and His glory by His grace. 

Knowing His purpose is secondary to knowing His passions…when I identify with His heart, I am broken for the same things, I am desperate for the Father, knowing I am nothing without Him. I am willing to struggle. To suffer. To be lonely. To trust the Father with the consequences of my obedience. Even to the point of being misunderstood, resented, and unto death. 

To be a stranger to suffering is to not know Him. To take a short cut for the sake of avoiding pain is to never know His comfort. To find another way is to disregard “the Way”. And when He has gone before me, why should I not follow? And He Himself IS the Way! And still better yet, I am not alone, for the Father has, at the request of Christ, sent me His “Helper” to be with me always…

Anchor

“All through the storm, your love is the anchor”.

That is the line of a song we sang in church today. When I sang it, the words hit my heart like a hug.

This past week has been so wonderful. My last week in Bangalore was more than I had ever hoped it would be. With such sweet fellowship, delightful food, and tons of fun, I could not have asked for a better holiday or to spend time in better company.

It is difficult because though I was on a holiday, enjoying the “sunny days” and taking a break from the daily life here at the Impact center, I realize there has seldom seemed to be a time when I have been without “the storm”. That inner turmoil, when spirit and soul are fighting for hope, against the loneliness, disappointment, and unintentional disillusionment, has been with me since the beginning of this trip.

But the storm also covers more ground than just the immediate days of late. It covers a life time.

In all honesty, I have often found myself bitterly disappointed in times of life. (Those of you who have known my family an extensive amount of time know. And I know there are many of you who empathize with the bitterness I refer to.)

 There are some storms which have passed into brighter days. Some storms were so dark; I can hardly tell you what they were made of. Some are ongoing and very volatile. It is in these storms, where no relief or stillness is in sight that I recognize just how bitter my heart is. I do not mean that I hold anything in contempt, only that the pain has so pierced me, so thoroughly, that it becomes all I feel.

A confidante recently told me after I expressed my heartache that I remind them of someone in the Bible – Naomi. “Great”, I thought. A disillusioned, hope-dashed, widowed, son-less, poor, bitter woman.  Yes, it is true. Much of Naomi as we know her is a woman who moved to a land where she expected to be saved from famine, but instead experienced the starvation of her heart.  And when she returns after life has dealt her hardship, she insists on being referred to by the state of her heartache.

But the wonderful part about Naomi’s bitterness is that she expressed it and we never see any mention of God condemning or reproaching her for her feelings. In fact, her real bitterness is seemingly justified by His real hope-filled plan of redemption for her life, even to the point of making her the great, great-grandmother of David.

In real storms, we need a real anchor.   And such a love can outlast any bitterness. 

Roamin' Holiday - Indian Style

Last night, I was asked to lead devo time - and given the time it took to go get my Bible and come back to prepare. However, my audience was not the children or the staff of Impact in Coimbatore, but a family here in Bangalore. (We've been roamin' around the city for a week so far.) 

Last Friday night, Rachel and I took an 8 hr night bus north to the state of Karnataka and arrived in Bangalore at 6:15 am. We found our party 20 minutes later (which was altogether another adventure in itself), and soon we went from being expected "guests" of their house to beloved "family" of their home. Impact has given Rachel and I a two-week holiday to travel and sight see, etc. before the holidays hit and we become inescapably busy with Christmas play practices, teaching the choir, and the usual daily tutoring/teaching lessons and sessions. Oh, did I mention that we are responsible for creating and implementing a Sunday School Cirriculum (which won't be initiated until after Christmas, but the prep work is now). 

Strange timing...don't you think? Why in the world would God give us a rest BEFORE the work  has started? Don't most people take vacations and go on holidays AFTER they have worked themselves raw? Hmmm...Then why...Oh, yes. This is where Hebrews 4 comes into play: ACTIVE rest. The perfect paradoxical Bible School cliche. 

"For the one who has entered His rest has himself rested from his works, as God did from His. Let us therefore be diligent to enter that rest...For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart..."(4:10-12)

Not surprising that this was my devo passage for last night. I had been reading Hebrews this past week as I felt I was needing a good reminder of "better things"). Yes, the supposed writer, Paul, is talking about salvation and how silly it is to re-work something that is already done and permanent, but it is true in other respects as well. It has quite accutely come to my attention that the ministry I had in my head and in my heart for this trip are not what I initially expected and when the inevitable choice to practice being available HIS way is presented before me, I have to choose. Do I believe that rest will keep me active? "Releasing Everything, Simply Trusting". And how can I? Because, the work is already done.

I do not have to worry and concern myself with my motives and motions if the word of God is able to discern for Himself the contents of my soul and spirit, body, and mind. So, I am left to take every thought captive, to treat my body as His tabernacle, and to guard my heart - all in active rest...with of course, the help of His "paraclete". And for the times I am weary in my weakness, there remains an invitation to come and receive rest from the only One from whom it can be given. God is so good.

Ahhhh...and we still have one more week here...pretty glad we get a rest now. And also one that is continuous and simultaneous to our every day lives. 

(Here's some pics of the past week!)

Roamin' around the City Park in Bangalore

Thank you, Random Stranger for taking our picture...

The Sound of Music, anyone? =)

Part of the Park

Add caption

Facing the Park's entrance/exit

Four of Five Kipging Siblings - plus two in Christ

Ohhhhh...Everybody's got a water buffalo...

View from the roof of the Kipging's House

Another rooftop view

Some former Green Valley students who are currently studying in Bangalore

A little bit of Germany in India

On the rooftop, playing games, waiting for the electricity to kick back on

"

Ruby loves "Ring around the Roses"

Dinner Time - "Curry Up"!

Sunset

Happy, Happy Holiday Week

 As the children were not in school for the past week due to a holiday (Mahatma Ghandi’s bday was last Sunday), Rachel and I found ourselves orchestrating and leading activities, crafts, and games for them. Some mornings were filled with inside games or homework/ study time and the evenings were always a time for outdoor games and running around on the playground.( A few took some spills on the gravel, but have been sporting their battle wounds proudly for the past few days.)

Besides spending extra time with the children this week, it has also been special because of the evenings. One evening was spent watching the 22 Menon girls get their nails painted by “Mama”. They were all in the house in droves! It was so wonderful to see what a mother’s love does. Another evening was in spent in celebration for Mama’s/Aunty Usha’s birthday! (You can imagine how 52 children react to ice cream and cake.)

And still yet, each day gets better when I think of days like today. The 30 Cornerstones (who were once beggar children or whose have parents are lepers), are strongly encouraged to see their parents on the weekends.  I saw one girl yesterday with her family, sitting outside. And as I passed by them, the other Cornerstones I was walking beside began telling me whose parents were coming. The ministry of what the hearts and love of Christ do for the children and for their parents is one of the greatest things I have ever had the privilege of being a part of.

You would never know the injustices these children have escaped by looking at their faces. Everyday I see them and all I see is hope, joy, and love. I see no insecurities. No fear. And no worry. Because they are sure they are loved and they know who Jesus is. And they live every day out of that knowledge of truth. When I grow up, I want to be a child. =)

Wild Life

(Week 4)

Well, though I have not seen much wild animal life here since arriving at the Impact Campus (I do not consider a scorpion to deserve the title), there is MUCH wild life to be seen. The form is quite cunning and subtle. It may look subdued and docile, but to be sure, timidity has only a small presence where this wild, boldness lives. And the eyes…oh, those eyes. Deep, dark eyes that house questions, mischief, and joy. They search out of curiosity and cry when injured. Some eyes do in fact possess shyness while others convey only inaudible noise with hopes of surprise and coming laughter. They, at first, seemed only to have two arms. (And then, you soon discover you are very wrong.) They are there. And then, they’re not. Some cling, climb, and call out. Some show off and only want you to look their way before finding another amusement…”wild life” is just another name for “children”.

Priyanka (pronounced “pree-YAWN-kuh”) is in Standard IV. When we started her lessons, she was behind in all her school work. I was given the task of reviewing all the chapters in her previous studies for a full week of mid term exams. She sat in her chair, saying nothing, looking at me while she guessed her answers. Within the first week, I found out just how behind she was in her classes and how impossible it all seemed to catch her up, review for her tests, and motivate her in the process.

She is easily distracted and I soon found myself feeling impatient with her. But just when I was telling the Lord how frustrated I was because I had nothing in common in which to relate to her (I am no longer 10, love school, and can concentrate for inhumane amounts of time), I found some ground I could possibly work with! Priyanka is an artist. Her notebook covers and margins in her workbooks are covered in drawings of peacocks, flowers, and oodles of doodles. The other day, she told me she when she grows up, she wants to be an art teacher.  

As I watched her to try to learn how she best takes interest in a subject and comprehends information, I was also given the realization that her memory is a bit photographic. It’s like her mind takes little pictures of small amounts of information: single words, diagrams, pictures. When I watch her with the task at hand, I see her trying to focus, but she doesn’t know what she is looking for. What if somehow it is possible to get her to look through her lens, tell her how to adjust it, and tell her what to look for? And then, she takes the picture. Hmmm…so, yesterday, she had trouble with her science workbook. When I gave her markers to highlight important words and to draw lines to separate the big words into syllables, she loved it! Whether she just wanted to color, I have no idea, but perhaps her mind will understand…

Please pray for her! And for me! We both so desperately need understanding and patience with ourselves! And Priyanka is a wild one. Her heart is bold and her spirit is not easily broken. Discouraged? Yes, sometimes. Distracted? Definitely. But she is as bold as the colors she uses in her drawings. And someday, she may teach other children the beauty of the combination of creativity and color. She just needs some concentration...here's to the wild life!

Update

The past several days have been the first of those I have disliked thus far. On Monday evening, I did not feel like going to the children’s devo time like usual, so I stayed behind in the house to rest. I emerged from my room to the dining room (about twenty steps) four days later. I must say, having a fever in this heat and humidity with no A/C is terribly uncomfortable. Although, I only thought that every time I would rouse from my sleep. I slept from Monday around 8pm to Friday around 8:30am. Yesterday, I did manage to actually leave the house! Hooray!

And today was Saturday! After their half day of school for Exams, we were all outside! Such a happy ending!    

                                              

I don't care how nice it is, five days is too long in any room!

The Playground

North View

Get your game face on!

Sowmya and Priyanka

Roshini, Payal, and Deepa w/ her flower

Buds, Blooms, and Blossoms

Sowmya - the youngest

Can't imagine the world without them!

Girls being girls. 

Heart

Diya

Glory

Aishwarya - another precious little bud

Good Night!

                                         

India Address

Here is the mailing address for the Impact facility!

Stephanie Burke
c/o Murli Menon
Impact International
1 Naickenpalayam,
Avai Nagar Via,
Perianaickenpalayam Post,
Coimbatore 641020
Tamil Nadu, S. INDIA

First Impressions

It was 3 a.m. when we landed in Kochi, India and cleared Customs. My first hour of being in the country was spent talking to the flight staff concerning my lost carry-on I had been forced to check on the flight out of Denver. After filing a report for them, I walked outside the airport to go find Rachel, who had gone out to find our ride to the Impact Campus. It took me about 15 minutes to find her because it was like a real life “Where’s Waldo” page. When I found her and our driver, it was a 5 hr ride to Coimbatore, but it was longer due to a couple stops for Danny for tea along the way.

The first time I walked into the home of the Chosen Treasures, I was never so pleased to see 22 little girls all look at me with curiosity and smiles! They were playing games and invited me to sit beside them and spell, and play while they introduced themselves to me. I soon became known as “Aunty Steffi” and when I see them and the “Cornerstones” (the older girls) and the 7 boys, it makes my heart happy more than anything else I could ever imagine seeing for these 6 months. I am in love with 52 little hearts.

Thank you all for praying! Planning so much and tutoring can be exhausting! Especially since their exams begin Sept 22! =) All in all, the start has been a success in terms of joy expressed, love given, and strength renewed.

Depth Perception

Progress. Such a simple word. An implication of motion. Forward and upward bound. Positive. Necessary.

Digress. Also simple and motivated. Still forward, but with misaligned orientation.

As the weeks have passed, I have found myself looking back over my shoulder, wondering at the progress that has been made up to this point in time. For the past year, I have focused on a goal so big and massive that the only way to turn dreaming to doing was through the avenue of a personal "fade out".

The Lord has been gracious enough to cause this past year to bring me to my knees in every area of my life. I have seen so much of myself that I wish to do without...yet even still, I find myself living out of sad independence and pride. Progress? Ha. Hardly what I would call it. But I think that is because when I think "progress", I think "distance", length gone and length to go. And with those thoughts, how could thoughts of self not be present?

The longer I look over my shoulder, I also begin to see something else: thousands and thousands of rabbit trails, times of distraction from disappointment and disillusion. There are so many! How ridiculous! How embarrassing! How hopeless it all looks...

With such a path behind me, how could I ever hope to experience the "fade out" and possess "more of Him, Less of me?" Such destruction and devastation makes for an easy digression from the progress. Sadly, I begin to fear that the term "fade out" more accurately describes my depreciating energy level than anything else.

And then, I see it. It is beyond the complications of progress and the mere distance traveled. It is more than all the culmination of misguided mishaps of decision and error lining the main-way. It is IN the depth of the journey. Shocker. Who would have thought that progress would come to mean so much more than just getting ahead on a 2 dimensional plane of existence and self-improving? And who would have thought the digression would actually accentuate the depth of love, mercy, and life that God has to offer?

I now have a different perspective as to what real progress is and what digression looks like. With all that said, abiding seems to look a lot more inviting. In the world's eyes, I am regressing. No job. No car. No plans. No vision. No progress. But what I have is an invitation to BE with the One who knows me and who uses the digression of my soul to glorify His heart so that when I repent and remember who He is, I fall in love all over again. That is why I'm going to India. It is why I do anything. Because He loves me.

August Update

Th, Aug. 4 - My last day on the job at Dillard's as the Coach Specialist

Th, Aug. 4 -  Drove to Estes Park for a weekend retreat at Ravencrest Chalet

Fri, Aug. 5- Visa (issued for Aug. 3, 2011-Aug 2, 2016) arrived in the mail!

Th, Aug. 11 - Drove to Colorado Springs and Castle Rock to sell "Bo" Jeep to Sarah!

Fri, Aug. 12 - Went with my dad to the Josh Groban concert - tix were an early bday present!

Sat, Aug.13 - Julie (a friend from MO) came to stay for a bit!

Today - going to spend the night with my Momma and Grandma in the new RV

Aug 27 - the Move (1.7miles) to my parents house for 10 days until we leave!


So, thankful for all the blessings of this month, the Lord's provision, the surprises, and even the stress that presses me closer to His heart.

A God Thing...

Alarm goes off - my first thought? "Today's the day".

"The day"? "The day" for what? Ohhh...it's the 21st of July. Today's the day I give my two week notice!

And I did. Around 6pm this evening on my lunch break, I filled out the paperwork and explained the reasoning for my departure - "I'm moving to India."

The second I left the room to head back upstairs and finish my shift, I felt full of doubt. "I shouldn't have done that...oh, what did I do? I sound like a crazy girl. I am crazy. I have to let my department manager know. The pressure of meeting my sales quota is off! Yay! The time crunch for the trip is on. Oh, man..." 

About two hours later, I was still in a daze of doubt. "God, was I really supposed to do that? I mean, if I was, was today the day?"

And then it happened. A customer I had previously helped on another day was back at my counter to do a complicated  exchange. Due to the detailed logistics of the return and repurchase, the two of us were left to ourselves for a bit while a manager sorted everything out in her office. The polite conversation of greeting her turned into how she spent her afternoon yesterday and how great it was - a nice break from her busy life of running two businesses. Then she was kind enough to ask if I was in school. I told her that I had already been to Bible School. 

"Oh, really? Where?"

"Estes Park."

"What school?"

"It's called Ravencrest Chalet Bible School."

"Oh, Ravencrest! I know exactly where it is! My cousin! He went there?"

I recognized her cousin's name from the database entries I had done. And we talked about what a small world it is, and after the initial shock of such a small world, it got even smaller. When she asked about what I was going to do now that I had done Bible School, I told her that I had given my two weeks notice at work so that I could go to India to volunteer at a children's home with Impact of Hope Int'l. She had tears in her eyes and immediately said she would be praying for me! 

The following discussion covered everything from adoption to travel time, to culture shock, and the caste system, and the connection between Ravencrest and Impact. 

 She eventually told me the church she attended and for some reason, when she asked me where I went, I couldn't remember...I forgot what it was called, I forgot the street it was on, I forgot everything. All I could come up with was, "Uh, the church is near a middle school and they also host a Messianic Jewish congregation on Saturdays."

"Oh, Tom Melton's church hosts a Messianic congregation and I went once!"

"Tom's my pastor!"

"Oh, you go to Greenwood Community!"

"Haha! Yes!"

"Tom, and his wife, I know very well!"

The conversation then included the groups she was a part of there as well as the helicopter ministry. ;)

Eventually, she had to go and with her holding the handbag she had intended to purchase quickly, I asked for her email. She gave it gladly through lots of tears of excitement and compassion and before she left, she gave me a hug (she kept on crying)  =). 

A simple story, really. But just thought I would share how the Lord confirmed to me my crazy heart. I am very much encouraged to know that the Lord sees me and cares to remind me of His faithfulness to the ones He loves. 

"See? I came in to buy a handbag, but I really came in to see you!"

Good one, Lord. That...was a good one. =)

growing

"Let me then be always growing,
Never, never standing still
Listening, learning, better knowing
Thee and Thy most blessed will
'til I reach Thy Holy place
Daily let me grow in grace."

These words have been thumping in my heart for nearly a week solid. They were written on a piece of paper given to me over a year ago...and now, just now, I have been experiencing the ever-truth of them.

The words were by themselves on that paper without author or even quotation marks...with only brief, written wishes that it would come to mean much to me.

As I have recently discovered, these words were written by Frances Ridley Havergal, the same poet and hymnist who wrote, "Take My Life and Let it Be."

The above words are penned as the fifth stanza in a poem appropriately titled, "Growing". As I read the poem, I realized the seriousness of the prayer being prayed.

The first stanza speaks of the recognition and request of helplessness and help. Actually, they all speak so. Endurance. Discipline. Vision. Sanctification. But as Bible school's great principle of repetition is evident , the growth in God's grace is the underlying and overall end. I am so pleased to read the poem, not from some doctrinal or analytical viewpoint, but as the read-er, so the pray-er. The entire poem is relational! Simply put are the needs of the body, mind, soul, and spirit. And simply given is the grace.

Below is the entire poem:

Unto him that hath, Thou givest
Ever 'more abundantly'
Lord, I live because Thou livest
Therefore give more life to me
Therefore speed me in the race
Therefore let me grow in grace


Deepen all Thy work, O Master
Strengthen every downward root
Only do Thou ripen faster
More and more, Thy pleasant fruit
Purge me, Prune me, self-abase
Only let me grow in grace


Jesus, grace for grace outpouring
Show me ever greater things
Raise me higher, sunward soaring
Mounting as on eagle's wings
By the brightness of Thy face
Jesus, let me grow in grace


Let me grow by sun and shower
Every moment water me
Make me really, hour by hour
More and more conformed to Thee
That Thy loving eye may trace
Day by day, my growth in grace


Let me then be always growing
Never, never standing still
Listening, learning, better knowing
Thee and Thy most blessed will
Till I reach Thy Holy Place
Daily let me grow in grace

                          -Frances Ridley Havergal


hope this puts a "spring in your step"  ::s::