Anchor

“All through the storm, your love is the anchor”.

That is the line of a song we sang in church today. When I sang it, the words hit my heart like a hug.

This past week has been so wonderful. My last week in Bangalore was more than I had ever hoped it would be. With such sweet fellowship, delightful food, and tons of fun, I could not have asked for a better holiday or to spend time in better company.

It is difficult because though I was on a holiday, enjoying the “sunny days” and taking a break from the daily life here at the Impact center, I realize there has seldom seemed to be a time when I have been without “the storm”. That inner turmoil, when spirit and soul are fighting for hope, against the loneliness, disappointment, and unintentional disillusionment, has been with me since the beginning of this trip.

But the storm also covers more ground than just the immediate days of late. It covers a life time.

In all honesty, I have often found myself bitterly disappointed in times of life. (Those of you who have known my family an extensive amount of time know. And I know there are many of you who empathize with the bitterness I refer to.)

 There are some storms which have passed into brighter days. Some storms were so dark; I can hardly tell you what they were made of. Some are ongoing and very volatile. It is in these storms, where no relief or stillness is in sight that I recognize just how bitter my heart is. I do not mean that I hold anything in contempt, only that the pain has so pierced me, so thoroughly, that it becomes all I feel.

A confidante recently told me after I expressed my heartache that I remind them of someone in the Bible – Naomi. “Great”, I thought. A disillusioned, hope-dashed, widowed, son-less, poor, bitter woman.  Yes, it is true. Much of Naomi as we know her is a woman who moved to a land where she expected to be saved from famine, but instead experienced the starvation of her heart.  And when she returns after life has dealt her hardship, she insists on being referred to by the state of her heartache.

But the wonderful part about Naomi’s bitterness is that she expressed it and we never see any mention of God condemning or reproaching her for her feelings. In fact, her real bitterness is seemingly justified by His real hope-filled plan of redemption for her life, even to the point of making her the great, great-grandmother of David.

In real storms, we need a real anchor.   And such a love can outlast any bitterness. 

Roamin' Holiday - Indian Style

Last night, I was asked to lead devo time - and given the time it took to go get my Bible and come back to prepare. However, my audience was not the children or the staff of Impact in Coimbatore, but a family here in Bangalore. (We've been roamin' around the city for a week so far.) 

Last Friday night, Rachel and I took an 8 hr night bus north to the state of Karnataka and arrived in Bangalore at 6:15 am. We found our party 20 minutes later (which was altogether another adventure in itself), and soon we went from being expected "guests" of their house to beloved "family" of their home. Impact has given Rachel and I a two-week holiday to travel and sight see, etc. before the holidays hit and we become inescapably busy with Christmas play practices, teaching the choir, and the usual daily tutoring/teaching lessons and sessions. Oh, did I mention that we are responsible for creating and implementing a Sunday School Cirriculum (which won't be initiated until after Christmas, but the prep work is now). 

Strange timing...don't you think? Why in the world would God give us a rest BEFORE the work  has started? Don't most people take vacations and go on holidays AFTER they have worked themselves raw? Hmmm...Then why...Oh, yes. This is where Hebrews 4 comes into play: ACTIVE rest. The perfect paradoxical Bible School cliche. 

"For the one who has entered His rest has himself rested from his works, as God did from His. Let us therefore be diligent to enter that rest...For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart..."(4:10-12)

Not surprising that this was my devo passage for last night. I had been reading Hebrews this past week as I felt I was needing a good reminder of "better things"). Yes, the supposed writer, Paul, is talking about salvation and how silly it is to re-work something that is already done and permanent, but it is true in other respects as well. It has quite accutely come to my attention that the ministry I had in my head and in my heart for this trip are not what I initially expected and when the inevitable choice to practice being available HIS way is presented before me, I have to choose. Do I believe that rest will keep me active? "Releasing Everything, Simply Trusting". And how can I? Because, the work is already done.

I do not have to worry and concern myself with my motives and motions if the word of God is able to discern for Himself the contents of my soul and spirit, body, and mind. So, I am left to take every thought captive, to treat my body as His tabernacle, and to guard my heart - all in active rest...with of course, the help of His "paraclete". And for the times I am weary in my weakness, there remains an invitation to come and receive rest from the only One from whom it can be given. God is so good.

Ahhhh...and we still have one more week here...pretty glad we get a rest now. And also one that is continuous and simultaneous to our every day lives. 

(Here's some pics of the past week!)

Roamin' around the City Park in Bangalore

Thank you, Random Stranger for taking our picture...

The Sound of Music, anyone? =)

Part of the Park

Add caption

Facing the Park's entrance/exit

Four of Five Kipging Siblings - plus two in Christ

Ohhhhh...Everybody's got a water buffalo...

View from the roof of the Kipging's House

Another rooftop view

Some former Green Valley students who are currently studying in Bangalore

A little bit of Germany in India

On the rooftop, playing games, waiting for the electricity to kick back on

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Ruby loves "Ring around the Roses"

Dinner Time - "Curry Up"!

Sunset

Happy, Happy Holiday Week

 As the children were not in school for the past week due to a holiday (Mahatma Ghandi’s bday was last Sunday), Rachel and I found ourselves orchestrating and leading activities, crafts, and games for them. Some mornings were filled with inside games or homework/ study time and the evenings were always a time for outdoor games and running around on the playground.( A few took some spills on the gravel, but have been sporting their battle wounds proudly for the past few days.)

Besides spending extra time with the children this week, it has also been special because of the evenings. One evening was spent watching the 22 Menon girls get their nails painted by “Mama”. They were all in the house in droves! It was so wonderful to see what a mother’s love does. Another evening was in spent in celebration for Mama’s/Aunty Usha’s birthday! (You can imagine how 52 children react to ice cream and cake.)

And still yet, each day gets better when I think of days like today. The 30 Cornerstones (who were once beggar children or whose have parents are lepers), are strongly encouraged to see their parents on the weekends.  I saw one girl yesterday with her family, sitting outside. And as I passed by them, the other Cornerstones I was walking beside began telling me whose parents were coming. The ministry of what the hearts and love of Christ do for the children and for their parents is one of the greatest things I have ever had the privilege of being a part of.

You would never know the injustices these children have escaped by looking at their faces. Everyday I see them and all I see is hope, joy, and love. I see no insecurities. No fear. And no worry. Because they are sure they are loved and they know who Jesus is. And they live every day out of that knowledge of truth. When I grow up, I want to be a child. =)

Wild Life

(Week 4)

Well, though I have not seen much wild animal life here since arriving at the Impact Campus (I do not consider a scorpion to deserve the title), there is MUCH wild life to be seen. The form is quite cunning and subtle. It may look subdued and docile, but to be sure, timidity has only a small presence where this wild, boldness lives. And the eyes…oh, those eyes. Deep, dark eyes that house questions, mischief, and joy. They search out of curiosity and cry when injured. Some eyes do in fact possess shyness while others convey only inaudible noise with hopes of surprise and coming laughter. They, at first, seemed only to have two arms. (And then, you soon discover you are very wrong.) They are there. And then, they’re not. Some cling, climb, and call out. Some show off and only want you to look their way before finding another amusement…”wild life” is just another name for “children”.

Priyanka (pronounced “pree-YAWN-kuh”) is in Standard IV. When we started her lessons, she was behind in all her school work. I was given the task of reviewing all the chapters in her previous studies for a full week of mid term exams. She sat in her chair, saying nothing, looking at me while she guessed her answers. Within the first week, I found out just how behind she was in her classes and how impossible it all seemed to catch her up, review for her tests, and motivate her in the process.

She is easily distracted and I soon found myself feeling impatient with her. But just when I was telling the Lord how frustrated I was because I had nothing in common in which to relate to her (I am no longer 10, love school, and can concentrate for inhumane amounts of time), I found some ground I could possibly work with! Priyanka is an artist. Her notebook covers and margins in her workbooks are covered in drawings of peacocks, flowers, and oodles of doodles. The other day, she told me she when she grows up, she wants to be an art teacher.  

As I watched her to try to learn how she best takes interest in a subject and comprehends information, I was also given the realization that her memory is a bit photographic. It’s like her mind takes little pictures of small amounts of information: single words, diagrams, pictures. When I watch her with the task at hand, I see her trying to focus, but she doesn’t know what she is looking for. What if somehow it is possible to get her to look through her lens, tell her how to adjust it, and tell her what to look for? And then, she takes the picture. Hmmm…so, yesterday, she had trouble with her science workbook. When I gave her markers to highlight important words and to draw lines to separate the big words into syllables, she loved it! Whether she just wanted to color, I have no idea, but perhaps her mind will understand…

Please pray for her! And for me! We both so desperately need understanding and patience with ourselves! And Priyanka is a wild one. Her heart is bold and her spirit is not easily broken. Discouraged? Yes, sometimes. Distracted? Definitely. But she is as bold as the colors she uses in her drawings. And someday, she may teach other children the beauty of the combination of creativity and color. She just needs some concentration...here's to the wild life!