Shredding the Gnar: a Lesson in Balance

I hit the slopes with my board yesterday afternoon to shred and balance my full week with a full weekend. The morning had proven cloudy, but as I parked  and stepped out of my Jeep in the lot, the sun peeked out. And stayed out for another 3 hours. Perfect.  I was alone with no distractions. Just me and a time. For nearly 2 hours, I had nothing to think about. Just the beautiful and blessedly warm day.  But my day was abruptly interrupted when I heard someone yell loudly. It was a guy's voice. It sounded panicked. And close.

 WHAP! (The hit) POW! (The flying powder) BOOM! (The fall)

Next thing I know, I'm down for the count. He's ahead of me about 15 ft., sprawled out on his back, still strapped in his board. My hat and goggles are scattered behind me, which were politely given to me by his friend who was apparently behind him. Needless to say, I only stayed about another 1/2 hour beyond that to head to the grocery store and go home ASAP with my back feeling like I was missing a few discs and wishing my head would be missing, if only to momentarily dull the pain.

Snowboarding, especially when you're new, is about balance. Yes. As cliche as it is, it's a lot like life. And, as I so surprisingly found out, so is the risk of being hit from behind.
In these last several months, it seems I have struggled to find balance between leisure and work, work and ministry, ministry and it's catalyst, that accelerant and the process, the process and it's product. I find myself questioning everything right now, where I am living, the ministry I am involved in, the job I am doing, and some friendships. And I am questioning as to why am I doing what I am doing,
and if I want to even continue as I am. Do I hope for too much? Do I have what it takes?

How is your balance? 

(2 Peter 1:3-11) the Message

3 Everything that goes into a life of pleasing God has been miraculously given to us by getting to know, personally and intimately, the One who invited us to God. The best invitation we ever received! 

4 We were also given absolutely terrific promises to pass on to you - your tickets to participation in the life of God after you turned your back on a world corrupted by lust. 

5 So don't 

lose a minute in building on what you've been given, complementing your basic faith with good character, spiritual understanding, 

6alert discipline, passionate patience, reverent wonder, 

7warm friendliness, and generous love, each dimension fitting into and developing the others. 

8 With these qualities active and growing in your lives, no grass will grow under your feet, no day will pass 

without its reward as you mature in your experience of our Master Jesus. 

9 Without these qualities 

you can't see what's right before you, oblivious that your old sinful life has been wiped off the books. 

10 So, friends, confirm God's invitation to you, his choice of you. Don't put it off; do it now. Do this, and you'll have your life on a firm footing,

11 the streets paved and the way wide open into the eternal kingdom of our Master and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Did you hear that?! Do you see it?! If you are a believer in Jesus, then, you have already been given
everything you need for Life and Godliness! You already have the motivation you need to balance!
Look at verse 10. See? There it is! "Life on a firm footing".

So, when you get hit from behind and you don't even know what happened, just sit there and quietly decide to never give up. Perseverance may be you deciding to try the run again or you may have to walk away and go home. But the very fact you are being forced to make a decision on how to persevere means you have already found your balance.

Old Promises of a New Mercy

I asked a friend what it was about New Years that she enjoyed so much; her excitement to stay up late and fill the evening with games, food, and the town's fireworks display seemed a bit over the top. Her personality did not make it strange to me that she was so motivated in everything, only that there seemed to be more behind it. With an impish grin, she exclaimed, "I just love the concept of starting something over". 

My response? I don't believe I have one. You see, like many, I am a type-A personality. Us perfection - driven freaks love the pressure of getting things right the first time. (Yes. Despite what we profess and display, we are indeed very messed up and has much to do with our misplaced identities, but that's an entirely separate conversation). 

Ok, honestly? Her answer made me cringe. And now that I am sitting here typing this, I am convinced that this annual, celebratory, kiss-the-stranger-next-to-you, drinking, be-there-in-Times-Square bash is exactly what I often times spend the whole year trying to avoid. The idea of needing to begin again, start over, and another 365 days (and every four years, 366 days) being before me to tackle make me...tired. 

You know as well as I do that trying to live a better year is simply not possible. We do the same things every year. We resolve our ambitions. We remember our ancestors. We fight, forgive, and forget. And here's the kicker: we get older. Even if you managed to workout more, eat a little less, pay off more of your mortgage, save a bit more for a get-away, or whatever, you. Are. Older. And you know what that means...you are older. And wiser.

You are wiser because you have learned, and you have learned because you have made mistakes. There. I said it. You buckled under the pressure. You ate that cake. Proverbial or literal hardly matters. You said, "no" when you should have said, "yes". And vice-versa. Or you did what you swore you would never do. You were weak. You were overbearing and bulldozed a friend. You lost your temper. You were passive. Selfish. Lazy. I could go on, but I will refrain from boring you with all of my personal flaws. (There's not enough space on this page).

Every year, my heart and soul resolutely decide to "get it right". And thanks be to God that I failed miserably. And I don't mean it's sad. I mean I was nowhere close to satisfying myself with my level of accomplishment, let alone God, Himself. I mean absolutely and utterly. Failed. And yet here I am. 

Having to start a year over, whether I want to or not. Now, hear me out, I am not negating the victories of the past year. Rather, in an ironic way, I am affirming them. 

In short, you and I will never "get it right" the first time. There is no such thing. But consider this: the necessity to do things "right the first time" was never stated, suggested, or required by God. No where in scripture or even in the cycles of our celebrations is there ever an implication that we are supposed to even "get it right", let alone "the fist time". The Bible is filled to the broad brim with stories, confessions, pleas, and promises of MERCY. 

I suppose I write this more for myself as a reminder; Instead of seeing the New Year exclusively as a "year" and associating all the things that have, had, and will happen, I want to see "NEW".

Lamentations 3:22-25

"The Lord's loving kindnesses indeed never cease, for His compassion never fail. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness. "The Lord is my portion," says my soul, "Therefore, I have hope in Him." The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the person who seeks Him.