Saftey Pin

“Miss Stephanie, my skirt is too big!” I turned around and could not help but smile at Naveen as he said this to me. I looked at the khaki skirt he was wearing to complete his Roman soldier outfit. He was already intent on finding his helmet and sword (his pride and joy), but was his intentions were inconveniently being interrupted by the fact that he was now holding his pleated apparel at his waist with both hands…

Sometimes, I feel like that – too preoccupied with keeping myself together and finding I am unable to do the things I really want to do because of the inconvenience of being a present mess. 

“I have a safety pin. Just a minute. Stay still.”

“Stay still.” Those last words must have been the most difficult to hear when all he probably wanted to do was move. The adrenaline from knowing the Christmas program was in an hour and his shining moment fast approaching coupled with the fact that his parents were in the audience was a stark contrast against his statue impression. It could have been the interest of watching exactly how I pinned that made him stay still. But I think that although he watched with unwavering eyes, he was really intent on staying still because he knew what would happen if he moved. He was not watching the skirt’s pinning. He was watching how close the pin was to him and how still he was being. 

But I was watching all three. My work. His proximity. His obedience.

Safety pin. “Safety” - protection, security. “Pin” – to fasten, fix, join. What are the safety pins in your life? (a petty analogy, I know). But really…what are they? Those seemingly small, insignificant things that He places so carefully in our lives for our good – to “keep our skirts on”? The things that are intentionally and perfectly placed to “fasten, fix and join” us to Himself? The things that are for our “protection, security”? The things that we look so worryingly on because we think there is even the remotest chance that He will be careless and we will suffer for it?

But He is aware of all three. His work. His proximity. Our obedience.

Naveen’s parents watched in pride and he threw his lines out before the audience with pleasure. Apparel properly pinned. Props placed. Prepared. And unpricked.

*the program and events of Dec.17^th went wonderfully according to expectation! Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers! Due to the private nature of those in attendance and at the request of Impact, no pictures will be posted on this blog. However, if you would like pictures, I will be most happy to email them to you!!!! Hope you all enjoyed the holidays! Blessings from India!

Loose Teeth and Hand-Me-Downs

Yesterday marked the halfway point of this trip for me. What?! Has it really been three months since that departure from DIA?? Honestly, nothing has passed by quicker than my days here and I worry that I will not be able to keep up at this rate! I do not want to miss a moment of my time here. I want to be aware of the Lord’s work in my life and the lives of others.

My question: How do we know if we have grown spiritually?! Is there even growth at all to even assess? What evidence is there?

I had been out due to a nasty head/ chest cold, so when I went into the Children’s Home a week later and crossed the entryway, I see a wall of girls coming at me, all yelling, “Miss Stephanieeeee!!!”

Instantly, I have three girls on my left arm – one at my shoulder, another holding my forearm, and one grasping my wrist. My right side is matched, save for the fourth girl trying to get a hold of my pinky while jostling a sister or two. The smallest girl has buried her face into my stomach and laughing as she embraces me with her tiny arms. Trying to stay there while I walk forward makes her loose her grip; then, realizing I’m moving, she tries to walk backwards, which makes her giggle even more.

When they disperse a bit, I see that some have undergone changes. Some are missing teeth. Same smiles and just as expressive, but less “toothy”. And some of them were not in their normal dress. The smaller ones were now dressed in their older sisters’ clothing and so on. They were growing right before my eyes – and I’d only been out a week! Such changes were so quick and effortless! But there they were, just being themselves and living day-to-day…They had not done a thing – and still they grew! Even in looking at pictures from the first week here, three months ago, the growth is obvious.

Children grow naturally. It just happens. They eat, exercise, sleep, and repeat. And then one day you notice the simultaneous growth that has been happening the entire time…

And so it is spiritually. To feed on the Word, to exercise faith, to rest, and to make it a lifestyle causes growth. I have been yet again reminded of the Lord’s promise that “He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus” (Phil. 1:6).

If you could take a snapshot of your heart from three months ago and compare it to your heart currently, what changes would you see? What differences would you notice? 

So, here’s to loose teeth and hand-me-downs!

“…Our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day” (2 Cor. 4:16).

"Day-du"

Hello, All!

First off, have I ever said “thank you”? No? Well then, "thank you"! (Or as my little sister says, "day-du! oh, day-du!"). Thank you for taking time out of your busy life to read this. Hmmm, speaking of thanks, as it is nearing that wonderful, fallish season of family, friends, and FOOD =), let me just say, “Happy Thanksgiving”! We have so much to praise the Lord for! The past couple weeks have been ones of reminiscing for me lately. I was thinking back to last year and where I was…where were you a year ago?

Well, about this time last November, I had just finished finding a recipe for baking a perfect pumpkin pie (lo and behold the one on the Safeway can). Work was about to get crazier as all department stores pull out the décor and turn up the Christmas music for Black Friday and guard themselves against the massive, mad, mayhem of consumerism. The aspens had turned over and the weather was pleasantly cooler in comparison to a smokin’ summer. I was with my family at my parents’ house, probably talking with my grandma, laughing with my aunt, and chasing my sister for stealing my dessert. That was what I remember of last season…

This year, things are a little different: I’m not employed! Hooray! Haha, it’s actually a relief. (Those of you who have been or are in the corporate world will understand the lack of pressure.) Besides living on a tight budget until the spring, I am having to come to terms with a hot November…because this is southern India. There is no “Fall Season”, no Thanksgiving, and hence no snow or pumpkin pie. And for me, there is no family, no friends (excluding you, Rach), and no comfort foods (well, I consider rice MY comfort food, but to the rest of the world it’s just a staple). 

It is strange to be in a country where there the predominant religions are Hinduism and Islam. Very sporadically there is a Catholic influence out of a hand-me-down mentality. So many devote themselves to pray to figures of what they call “life”, or “hope”, or “prosperity”…but there is only emptiness met with a greater void. If they only knew what “life” really was, what “hope” looked like, or what “prosperity” means to the everlasting. But they know not what these blessings are. And worse yet, they know not even the One who is able to bless. So, there is no thanks to be given.

And after an insufferable existence, disappointment, and poverty with tinges of hunger and leprosy, why would they even know how to comprehend a blessing? The injustice of female infanticide continues to grow because on a practical level, girls are expensive: another mouth to feed, a significant dowry payment to have her married, society’s cultural demands, etc.  Beggars are beggars because it is the only life they know of and it was the only life their parents knew. And now there are parts of the world that have been lowered into a class of being a “fourth world” country. 

Living expenses in the state of Tamil Nadu have over the weekend, doubled. Everything from cabbage to bus fares to petrol has all been doubled. It is expensive to live and for those who already struggle to exist, the cost is now even higher. Please pray that this center in Coimbatore as well as the other Impact centers would continue to live in the faith of the love of a risen Lord, One who blesses, One who cares. May the children who were once rag-pickers and beggars, the preachers and students who were once Godless, (and the two American girls who were once orphans) be epicenters for love and thanksgiving like the Tenth Leper (Luke 17).

“Happy Thanksgiving” to you all! I am so thankful for YOU.

-S

::lonely, narrow road::

“When it comes to suffering, it is part of our Christian culture to want to know God’s purpose beforehand. In the history of the Christian church, the tendency has been to avoid being identified with the sufferings of Jesus Christ. People have sought to carry out God’s orders through a shortcut of their own. God’s way is always the way of suffering—the way of the “long road home.”  -O. Chambers

I recently made the personal statement that I want to be the kind of friend that Jesus is. I soon had the quick afterthought of what His friendship with me looks like. “Being with Him” means BEING with Him. Being WITH Him. Being with HIM. Jesus struggled. He suffered. And He was lonely. But most importantly, He trusted His Father with the consequences of His obedience, even to the point of being misunderstood, resented, and eventually crucified. 

Peter writes, “Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal among you, which comes upon you for your testing, as though some strange thing were happening to you; but to the degree that you share the sufferings of Christ, keep on rejoicing; so that also at the revelation of His glory, you may rejoice with exultation” (1 Peter 4:12-13 with italics added). 

The Greek word Peter uses here in this passage is “pathema”, pain or hardship undergone, affliction. It is a derivative of the word “pathos”, meaning passion. In essence, Peter is saying, “share the passions of Christ”. Peter did not say to merely share the same interests, but share the same heart, the same brokenness, the same desperation and need for the Father, the same self-sacrifice.

To be with Christ, to identify our very selves with Him is to share His passions; it is to be a part of Himself, to share in His likeness, and His glory by His grace. 

Knowing His purpose is secondary to knowing His passions…when I identify with His heart, I am broken for the same things, I am desperate for the Father, knowing I am nothing without Him. I am willing to struggle. To suffer. To be lonely. To trust the Father with the consequences of my obedience. Even to the point of being misunderstood, resented, and unto death. 

To be a stranger to suffering is to not know Him. To take a short cut for the sake of avoiding pain is to never know His comfort. To find another way is to disregard “the Way”. And when He has gone before me, why should I not follow? And He Himself IS the Way! And still better yet, I am not alone, for the Father has, at the request of Christ, sent me His “Helper” to be with me always…

Anchor

“All through the storm, your love is the anchor”.

That is the line of a song we sang in church today. When I sang it, the words hit my heart like a hug.

This past week has been so wonderful. My last week in Bangalore was more than I had ever hoped it would be. With such sweet fellowship, delightful food, and tons of fun, I could not have asked for a better holiday or to spend time in better company.

It is difficult because though I was on a holiday, enjoying the “sunny days” and taking a break from the daily life here at the Impact center, I realize there has seldom seemed to be a time when I have been without “the storm”. That inner turmoil, when spirit and soul are fighting for hope, against the loneliness, disappointment, and unintentional disillusionment, has been with me since the beginning of this trip.

But the storm also covers more ground than just the immediate days of late. It covers a life time.

In all honesty, I have often found myself bitterly disappointed in times of life. (Those of you who have known my family an extensive amount of time know. And I know there are many of you who empathize with the bitterness I refer to.)

 There are some storms which have passed into brighter days. Some storms were so dark; I can hardly tell you what they were made of. Some are ongoing and very volatile. It is in these storms, where no relief or stillness is in sight that I recognize just how bitter my heart is. I do not mean that I hold anything in contempt, only that the pain has so pierced me, so thoroughly, that it becomes all I feel.

A confidante recently told me after I expressed my heartache that I remind them of someone in the Bible – Naomi. “Great”, I thought. A disillusioned, hope-dashed, widowed, son-less, poor, bitter woman.  Yes, it is true. Much of Naomi as we know her is a woman who moved to a land where she expected to be saved from famine, but instead experienced the starvation of her heart.  And when she returns after life has dealt her hardship, she insists on being referred to by the state of her heartache.

But the wonderful part about Naomi’s bitterness is that she expressed it and we never see any mention of God condemning or reproaching her for her feelings. In fact, her real bitterness is seemingly justified by His real hope-filled plan of redemption for her life, even to the point of making her the great, great-grandmother of David.

In real storms, we need a real anchor.   And such a love can outlast any bitterness. 

Roamin' Holiday - Indian Style

Last night, I was asked to lead devo time - and given the time it took to go get my Bible and come back to prepare. However, my audience was not the children or the staff of Impact in Coimbatore, but a family here in Bangalore. (We've been roamin' around the city for a week so far.) 

Last Friday night, Rachel and I took an 8 hr night bus north to the state of Karnataka and arrived in Bangalore at 6:15 am. We found our party 20 minutes later (which was altogether another adventure in itself), and soon we went from being expected "guests" of their house to beloved "family" of their home. Impact has given Rachel and I a two-week holiday to travel and sight see, etc. before the holidays hit and we become inescapably busy with Christmas play practices, teaching the choir, and the usual daily tutoring/teaching lessons and sessions. Oh, did I mention that we are responsible for creating and implementing a Sunday School Cirriculum (which won't be initiated until after Christmas, but the prep work is now). 

Strange timing...don't you think? Why in the world would God give us a rest BEFORE the work  has started? Don't most people take vacations and go on holidays AFTER they have worked themselves raw? Hmmm...Then why...Oh, yes. This is where Hebrews 4 comes into play: ACTIVE rest. The perfect paradoxical Bible School cliche. 

"For the one who has entered His rest has himself rested from his works, as God did from His. Let us therefore be diligent to enter that rest...For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart..."(4:10-12)

Not surprising that this was my devo passage for last night. I had been reading Hebrews this past week as I felt I was needing a good reminder of "better things"). Yes, the supposed writer, Paul, is talking about salvation and how silly it is to re-work something that is already done and permanent, but it is true in other respects as well. It has quite accutely come to my attention that the ministry I had in my head and in my heart for this trip are not what I initially expected and when the inevitable choice to practice being available HIS way is presented before me, I have to choose. Do I believe that rest will keep me active? "Releasing Everything, Simply Trusting". And how can I? Because, the work is already done.

I do not have to worry and concern myself with my motives and motions if the word of God is able to discern for Himself the contents of my soul and spirit, body, and mind. So, I am left to take every thought captive, to treat my body as His tabernacle, and to guard my heart - all in active rest...with of course, the help of His "paraclete". And for the times I am weary in my weakness, there remains an invitation to come and receive rest from the only One from whom it can be given. God is so good.

Ahhhh...and we still have one more week here...pretty glad we get a rest now. And also one that is continuous and simultaneous to our every day lives. 

(Here's some pics of the past week!)

Roamin' around the City Park in Bangalore

Thank you, Random Stranger for taking our picture...

The Sound of Music, anyone? =)

Part of the Park

Add caption

Facing the Park's entrance/exit

Four of Five Kipging Siblings - plus two in Christ

Ohhhhh...Everybody's got a water buffalo...

View from the roof of the Kipging's House

Another rooftop view

Some former Green Valley students who are currently studying in Bangalore

A little bit of Germany in India

On the rooftop, playing games, waiting for the electricity to kick back on

"

Ruby loves "Ring around the Roses"

Dinner Time - "Curry Up"!

Sunset

Happy, Happy Holiday Week

 As the children were not in school for the past week due to a holiday (Mahatma Ghandi’s bday was last Sunday), Rachel and I found ourselves orchestrating and leading activities, crafts, and games for them. Some mornings were filled with inside games or homework/ study time and the evenings were always a time for outdoor games and running around on the playground.( A few took some spills on the gravel, but have been sporting their battle wounds proudly for the past few days.)

Besides spending extra time with the children this week, it has also been special because of the evenings. One evening was spent watching the 22 Menon girls get their nails painted by “Mama”. They were all in the house in droves! It was so wonderful to see what a mother’s love does. Another evening was in spent in celebration for Mama’s/Aunty Usha’s birthday! (You can imagine how 52 children react to ice cream and cake.)

And still yet, each day gets better when I think of days like today. The 30 Cornerstones (who were once beggar children or whose have parents are lepers), are strongly encouraged to see their parents on the weekends.  I saw one girl yesterday with her family, sitting outside. And as I passed by them, the other Cornerstones I was walking beside began telling me whose parents were coming. The ministry of what the hearts and love of Christ do for the children and for their parents is one of the greatest things I have ever had the privilege of being a part of.

You would never know the injustices these children have escaped by looking at their faces. Everyday I see them and all I see is hope, joy, and love. I see no insecurities. No fear. And no worry. Because they are sure they are loved and they know who Jesus is. And they live every day out of that knowledge of truth. When I grow up, I want to be a child. =)

Wild Life

(Week 4)

Well, though I have not seen much wild animal life here since arriving at the Impact Campus (I do not consider a scorpion to deserve the title), there is MUCH wild life to be seen. The form is quite cunning and subtle. It may look subdued and docile, but to be sure, timidity has only a small presence where this wild, boldness lives. And the eyes…oh, those eyes. Deep, dark eyes that house questions, mischief, and joy. They search out of curiosity and cry when injured. Some eyes do in fact possess shyness while others convey only inaudible noise with hopes of surprise and coming laughter. They, at first, seemed only to have two arms. (And then, you soon discover you are very wrong.) They are there. And then, they’re not. Some cling, climb, and call out. Some show off and only want you to look their way before finding another amusement…”wild life” is just another name for “children”.

Priyanka (pronounced “pree-YAWN-kuh”) is in Standard IV. When we started her lessons, she was behind in all her school work. I was given the task of reviewing all the chapters in her previous studies for a full week of mid term exams. She sat in her chair, saying nothing, looking at me while she guessed her answers. Within the first week, I found out just how behind she was in her classes and how impossible it all seemed to catch her up, review for her tests, and motivate her in the process.

She is easily distracted and I soon found myself feeling impatient with her. But just when I was telling the Lord how frustrated I was because I had nothing in common in which to relate to her (I am no longer 10, love school, and can concentrate for inhumane amounts of time), I found some ground I could possibly work with! Priyanka is an artist. Her notebook covers and margins in her workbooks are covered in drawings of peacocks, flowers, and oodles of doodles. The other day, she told me she when she grows up, she wants to be an art teacher.  

As I watched her to try to learn how she best takes interest in a subject and comprehends information, I was also given the realization that her memory is a bit photographic. It’s like her mind takes little pictures of small amounts of information: single words, diagrams, pictures. When I watch her with the task at hand, I see her trying to focus, but she doesn’t know what she is looking for. What if somehow it is possible to get her to look through her lens, tell her how to adjust it, and tell her what to look for? And then, she takes the picture. Hmmm…so, yesterday, she had trouble with her science workbook. When I gave her markers to highlight important words and to draw lines to separate the big words into syllables, she loved it! Whether she just wanted to color, I have no idea, but perhaps her mind will understand…

Please pray for her! And for me! We both so desperately need understanding and patience with ourselves! And Priyanka is a wild one. Her heart is bold and her spirit is not easily broken. Discouraged? Yes, sometimes. Distracted? Definitely. But she is as bold as the colors she uses in her drawings. And someday, she may teach other children the beauty of the combination of creativity and color. She just needs some concentration...here's to the wild life!

Update

The past several days have been the first of those I have disliked thus far. On Monday evening, I did not feel like going to the children’s devo time like usual, so I stayed behind in the house to rest. I emerged from my room to the dining room (about twenty steps) four days later. I must say, having a fever in this heat and humidity with no A/C is terribly uncomfortable. Although, I only thought that every time I would rouse from my sleep. I slept from Monday around 8pm to Friday around 8:30am. Yesterday, I did manage to actually leave the house! Hooray!

And today was Saturday! After their half day of school for Exams, we were all outside! Such a happy ending!    

                                              

I don't care how nice it is, five days is too long in any room!

The Playground

North View

Get your game face on!

Sowmya and Priyanka

Roshini, Payal, and Deepa w/ her flower

Buds, Blooms, and Blossoms

Sowmya - the youngest

Can't imagine the world without them!

Girls being girls. 

Heart

Diya

Glory

Aishwarya - another precious little bud

Good Night!